My_reverie

Thursday, February 09, 2006
4:38 PM

doing the 'Big' Leap - pey li and I

After 5 years of uni education, years of sleepless nights, heartaches, stress, backaches, hours on the computer screen, late night snacks...etc...it all comes down to that very day where I finally got to wear the robe and hat to receive this piece of paper called 'bachelor of communication design'.
It was a weird feeling for I was rather more excited at my brother's graduation than at my own. I wasn't in a 'hoo-hah' state that I 'thought' I would be on my graduation day as being portrayed and spoken by many that it's one of those 'The Day' sorta thing like a wedding.
It was purely simple and short. The weather was warm and apparently, it was the only warm day throughout that whole week. It was a proud moment that I may boast not in my own flesh because none of all that I have achieved so far resulted on my own effort and hardwork. Don't get me wrong because I believe that hard work does pay but it's that greater force that leads you beyond your own capabilities far more than you can possibly dream of.

This certificate belongs to my amazing heavenly Father whose grace has always been sufficient for me that His power is made perfect in my weakness, my parents whom i've learnt to appreciate even more the past few years and friends that I've been surrounded with that I count my blessings twice. Gee...this paragraph sounds more like an academy award thing. =p

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
-J.R.R Tolkien-

-hweun-`

Monday, February 06, 2006
4:08 PM

It has only been the 5th day since I got back but I'm missing home already. It's hard to describe in words the true state that I'm in at the moment that I often find myself staring on a piece of paper that has 101 questions. Just didn't know which to tick from the multiple questions that you can choose from. One leads to path A and the other, to path B. I have tried to comtemplate which option that would allow me to carry on without any regrets in the future. After spending days and hours pondering upon those options, I realized that I'm still standing on the crossroads, praying hard that I could hear an audible voice from God to just tell me what to do or that He would at least send someone down the road to give me instructions. I guess in many situations of my life, God didn't seemed to work in that way.

I finally got to understand how Pey-li must have felt when she was in this situation last year. I was helpless when she was in that struggle and I thought I knew everything about that. But no, not until I'm in it and realized that it is so much harder. However, I am beginning to ask myself why am I contemplating on the things that I have decided so long ago, the very thing that I was so sure of? Is it purely because of the 101 hurdles that I've got to face if I choose the unpredictable path A or is it because of the easy-way-out path B where I know I would have less to think about in getting myself comfortable?

The second path was being reconsidered after the past 2 and a half months of spending time back at home, with the company of people around me. Like today, when my parents left me at the hotel to carry on with their plans to great ocean road, I had to sorta change my current status to 'independent mode'. Not that i'm clingy to my parents or whatsoever but the overall concept is that it's such a different story altogether when you are here. Missing the presence and support of people back at home is undeniable. Something in which I know I could never find it over here, something that I've missed for the past 5 days. As I was walking down the lane of chapel street a few minutes ago, it brought back memories of the past 2 years I was staying there.

It was my spontateous housemates at no.42, the little kids, the indian uncle at the printing shop, the man down the lane, the homeless lady, (and the list goes on and on...haha) that has made the overall unforgettable story complete over here at chapel st.

I realized that as much as I enjoy the cool breeze and meeting new people each single day with their individual stories to tell, nothing compares to spending time with a good old friend for a cuppa tea back home.

'As I looked upon the night gloomy sky,
the canvas was empty with silence..
Hoping for a tint of light
but nothing appeared..
Heart broken,
empty handed,
arms in prayer,
I asked;
'Would I able to see it just one more time?'

A quiet whisper,
Oh, gentle comforter
He said;
'Slow in revealing,'
'Trust in heart'

Slowly,
Gently,
He called forth the moonlight
and sprinkled glittering dust of stars across the canvas.

He said;
May your heart be captivated,
May you never loose hope and sight,
Where there is an empty canvas,
I AM already in at work to paint you a better one..

- hweun 2006, 9.30 pm, 5th feb-

-hweun-`

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